The Birth Story

Every bit of my pregnancy was planned... we had been trying for sometime and when we got the news I was on the seventh heaven, top of the world. Would touch and feel my stomach 100 times a day and we were both a very happy couple... But then within a week of getting to know the good news started the morning sickness, which should please for heaven's sake stopped being called that as it just starts on mornings and lasts all day long, sigh....

I was still adjusting to that when I saw some spots of blood and my heart skipped multiple beats, I immediately called my doc and the 5 mins that it took for her to attend to me felt like the longest period in my life... she told me if its only spots there is nothing to worry and prescribed me some medicines... and life went on...

About 1 month later the horror stuck again, in the wee hours of the morning I woke up feeling wet in the legs and we rushed to the hospital, the nurses and docs were quick to give medication and the bleeding was stopped in some 20 mins which was not very heavy anyways... but I was kept in hospital for about 4 days and put on bed rest for a month post that, after what had happened... I was ready to be on bed rest forever if that was what meant saying my baby's life.

My mom was summoned from Delhi and hence started the bed rest pampering sessions, still accompanied my crazy so called morning sickness, it had become a joke in my house that if I was not to be seen on my bed I could be found in the loo puking... there was hardly anything that would stay inside me apart from IceCreams and I had loads and loads of it...

And as this was going on in 10 days the horror stuck yet again...and this time with a greater strength, suddenly out of the blue I started bleeding like crazy, N was traveling and mom didnt know to drive... so the neighbors were summoned and we rushed to hospital yet again.. By the time we reached there the bleeding had increased even further, the medication was given and we were asked to wait and warned that the chances of my baby's survival are 50-50%, my heart broke, my mom held my hand tight and I didnt want to let her go... I guess she understood what I was going through... N had also reached by then and I just broke down when I saw him and cried like crazy, had no strength to deal with it anymore...By this time the assistant doc had announced that there are lumps and baby parts coming out and the baby is surely gone, the doc will come early in the morning and do a DnC... I think that was the worst night of my life... both me and N were holding each other's hand and crying all through... I had lost the most precious thing of my life

Early morning the routine OT duties were done and I was taken to the OT for DnC... I touched my stomach one last time to feel my baby... the doc held my hand, ran a hand through my hair and I cried yet again... Anyhow I was given GA and then after couple of hours dazed I woke to see my doc's brimming face telling me that the baby is fine... For a minute I thought I am dreaming, that I am still unconscious under GA and dreaming about my lost baby but then the doc came and touched my head and I could a small tear in the corner of her eye too...She said no monika the baby is really alive and this time I cried truck loads but they were the tears of happiness...

How the baby was saved is a mystery still, my doc came to the OT and saw that the cervix was closed and felt tight, she did a scan, called N in and they both saw baby's heartbeat... and she came out of the OT without doing anything... My doc calls Ojas a Miracle Baby... she says that in her 40 yrs of career this is the first time she has seen this happening.... May be God wanted us to have him... He is truly a blessing

Post this I was on a strict bed rest all through and had a scheduled C-sect, which I dont regret a bit... I am proud of my scar that's where my miracle baby came from...

I wonder why women back such a big deal of normal vs c-sect delivery... because I didnt go through labor doesnt make a less good mom just as the fact I had a difficult pregnancy doesnt make a better mom

Motherhood is much more than some hours of labor and delivery infact motherhood is much more than those 9 months... motherhood is a lifetime of commitment, of love, of sacrifice, of braveness and of many more feeling I am yet to encounter.

Motherhood is what makes me complete, motherhood is a feeling of bliss


PS: cross posted at my blog

Missing Dada too much

N is in a sales job and used to travel quite a bit but from the past some time owing to recession and travel restrictions in companies... his travel has stopped (which works good for us) :) so this time he was gone for 3 days after some 4 months or so...and from the second day on every evening Ojas would cry... dada dada dada, yesterday night he cried so much while sleeping and didnt sleep for 2 hours, went around all the house... looking for dada and finally slept on his swing saying dada aaja dada aaja

poor guy, thankfully his dada is coming back today

Chocolate

Ojas proved that he is my son... he loves and adores chocolates, he got the taste of chocolate some 3 weeks back when a friend gave him one on the picnic we went to, he loved it we could all see it... but that was it both he and us forgot about it...

But sigh that was till some days back when I was reading him the foods book which has a page on chocolates and he started shouting when he saw that, initially I couldnt understand what he is saying but then realised he was trying to take the chocolate out of the book and eat :) When he couldnt take it out he asked me to and when I couldnt he took the book to every person in the house, asking them to take the chocolate out... lol, this drama went for about 15 mins post which he started crying for chocolate and N had to step out to buy one and give him... I thought these things started after sometime... needless to say that the book has been hidden forever :)

He displayed the same behavior in a party day before when he saw a girl with one, was running behind her saying Choc, choc, choc... ya thats what he calls chocolate

The Garden Story

Ojas loves being outdoors... most of u know by now but my garden is my favorite place currently

every weekend (saturday and sunday both) the following is repeated while mumma-dada water plants...

i put the pipe on the tap

start the tap

start watering

and then start playing with water

aaha the garden story cant be complete without some mud right

i decide that i dont like this pot here and hence move it

and at the end comes my super duper fav... the bath with the hose pipe



Lots of fun right? but sigh after all this which lasts about 1 hour he still refuses to come in and cries for about 10-15 mins after coming in... gosh how do i deal with this?

The Best of Motherhood

HHG tagged me with this tag which was started by HBM and what a lovely tag it is...

Around the world in 80 clicks... lovely concept...

But this is way too tough, there are so many things I love about motherhood and 5 is way less a number...

So here are the 5 things about motherhood I love the most (atleast I think so now, it might change the next minute)

1. those little fingers, little toes, little eyes, little nose, little ears... all of them grew inside u and that there is one person whom u will know the longest, how much ever anyone tries... we mom's still have a 9-month advantage lol
2. the fact that when u come back home after a very hectic and tensed day, the smile the hug the kiss and the musical hi of ur little one is enough to make u forget every tension and feel blissful
3. the fact that I am a much more responsible and caring person now, knowing that there is someone for whom I am responsible, who is depended on me... i am a better person I think
4. the way I see myself and hubby complete and a family with my prince, the way I see the two most important people in my life be happy together and know that ya somewhere I have made the happiness possible lol
5. that how I have become much more fearless and also a tolerant person at the same time, fearless as in will do anything to protect my son from the evil, and will do everything I can to make the world a better place to live and tolerant to the people who's only job is to criticize
   

I pass this tag to
areasontowrite who i think is from US originally but currently in delhi
nm (anirudh's mom) from delhi
monika from calcutta
Suma from Australia (suma am i right?)
Abha from Bangalore
Goofy Mumma from UAE
2B's Mommy from New Zealand
Life's Begins (Prisha's mom) from Netherlands
Solilo from US (I think)
IHM from pune

Move over naani, massi is here

Ojas has abandoned us all since my chotti massi Isha landed from Delhi this morning... All he wants is massi... he pushes all of us away and is playing only with his massi... the minute she goes away she is Eeesha and shouts loudly aaaay and this continues till she comes back... she cant even go to the loo...lol

the sad part is that he is pushing me also away... I thought he is all mine... sigh

Look who's here

Ojas is on the seventh heaven these days... ask why... nani came... and since then he has become a nani fan...

plays with her, talks to her, eat also from her... we all are just existing


There is one more reason to be happy... she has brought gifts too... doodle pro that he has fallen in love with


She also got a cool football set which has a goal post and a ball...

Sweet 16

I really cant believe I am doing the 16th month post already... It feels like just yesterday that I wrote the 15th month post... agreed I was late but still... It actually feels like just yesterday when u were born honey...

Though the tittle of the post is sweet 16 because that's the way 16 has been said from ages but if I had to give it a tittle it had to be stubborn 16 because its clearly been the month of stubborn, if the mantra of 15 was independence the mantra of 16 is stubbornness... u want everything your way and one small no results in a complete 30 mins drama at home and it simply doesn't help that u have a memory bigger than most adults and don't get diverted easily. Something doesn't your way and phew thats it a big big tantrum and sure to come, u cry shout scream make angry faces throw your arms and feet around. And this specially if your mom-dad are around, your dadi and nanny tell us that you are a good boy when we are not around, why my darling have mom-dad something wrong? sob sob... last two weekends were so tough that your dad said he will go to work also on the weekend and now with me being at home we hear your shouts every 20 mins... gosh, have the trouble twos hit us so early????

Now that mumma is done with the complaining she also has to tell everyone that she is eating her words of the last month post that she thinks that you are not going to speak, the last 15 days have been only talking days... u have become like a parrot wanting to repeat everything anyone utters out, irrespective of what it means and how tough it is and the first word you said is unbelievable, no mumma no papa, i can claim to do a contest here and be sure that no one no one can guess the word... the first word u said was "tractar" (tractor for who didnt get it) and since then the vocab is on a constant rise... these are some of your favourites
-hi (and u say it so musically its a treat to the ears and u greet us with one everytime u see someone after a while)
-mumma
-papa (though ur dad wants to be called dada and is trying hard)
-chadi
-abhi
-acha
-pitha (papitha)
-tomto (tomato)
-mumum (water)
-nani
-amuma (his great grand mother)
-kal (kala his nanny)
-off (switch on or off a electric point, its off for both)

The last month has also been a month of rough play, u have always loved rough play but this month the love has gone way too ahead, the minute u see your dada or sometimes even mom u want to go on shoulder and then do a complete palti while coming down. Your dada sometimes hold you from your legs and hangs you down for minutes all together and your laughter at that time is so precious.

You have also learned to do round and round and simply keep doing it sometimes even for 10 mins and we all wonder whether you dont get dizzy by that

The potty training has finally started too and we are currently on step 1 of the four step procedure your doc has told us, the good thing is that u are finally sitting on your potty seat happily with a book in your hand ;-)

Kitchen is still your favorite place in the house and everyday morning and evening when mumma cooks u have to be with her sometimes messing up with the kitchen drawers and sometimes sitting on the kitchen counter :)
please forgive my messy kitchen, morning cooking is usually messy




In the sleep routine that we formed sometime back there is one more thing which has got added recently and that is say bye and giving flying kisses to the 10pm train from the bedroom window, till it comes and you bye to it you simply wont go to sleep, mumma is dreading the day when the train is late or god forbid canceled. I think I am going to bribe the railway officials to keep that train on time ;-)

You also help mumma in plucking whatever little has grown in her garden....plucking tomatoes and spring onions what if they are not ready



The eating is going ok... u eat sometimes, u dont eat the other times but I have learned to take it easy now... u eat something when u want to and that is fine

Your habit of keeping things in place which started last month has gone in a different dimension now, you now even now decide what is waste in the house and go throw it in the dustbin, the other day u were spotted picking up dust in the kitchen and throwing it in the dustbin.. till now you havent thrown something useful there and mumma is happy with that.

Its been a lovely month apart and here are two of my fav pics of the month
chilling out with dad after the gardening session

sitting on the low chair in dadi's room early morning

First Birthday Invite

for archiving purposes :)